Celebrating the Life of 
Jason Huff, Jr.

To all of you that care for and love the Huff Family…

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As most of you now know, the Huffs' lives were forever changed when their son and brother, Jason Peter Huff, Jr., took his life after a long and courageous battle with mental health.  Heartbreak does not do the pain justice…there are no words…How do you describe this type of pain? And more importantly, how do we as a community of people who love, care, and feel for this family help them through this time? 

As someone who has walked in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I wanted to share the lessons I have learned and had shared with me along the way. 

Eliminate the expectation that they might again one day be the same people they were before. Who they become will define themselves over time and our role is to be there when they need us. They will most likely be numb to everything which may last a month, or it may last a year… but it is truthfully a blessing from God that they are in a state of shock, simply to survive these first few days and weeks. 

When you ask, “How's it going today,” expect that you might be the recipient of tears, heavy information, a long conversation, a simple “Doing ok,” or “We are surviving,”  but in their mind, they will always add “relatively speaking,” or maybe place an asterisk next to that answer. Grief does not have a timeline, and when it comes to the death of a child, it will never not be a part of their lives. 

Just show up. Do not ask, be consistent and constant with this approach, and expect nothing in return. Do not say, “Let me know if I can do anything to help," "Call me if you need anything," or "Please do not hesitate to ask for anything.”  This places a burden on them. The best thing you can do is show up.  Show up with zero expectations…no expectation of a greeting or a visit, a thank you note, or even a response at all. Know that whatever it is that you do and however you choose to show up, it is greatly and deeply appreciated by the family. 

Be present in their lives and stay present. You may send an email, a text, or call, and you may never get a response… DON’T STOP.  They get them, need them, and feel the love, but they may not be able to muster the energy emotionally or physically to respond.  Don’t be offended. This will be a selfless act of good deed in its truest form.

If you invite them to do something one time or one hundred times and they don’t commit, don't worry and do not give up on them. Always give them the easy out -to come or not come- and continue to let them know they are thought of and welcome.

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OTHER WAYS TO HELP

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Please sign up to bring the Huff Family a meal by clicking here 

Please understand that you may not get to see or visit with them. There are suggestions in their meal train and you cannot go wrong, it’s showing up that matters.

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Be there in the days, weeks, and years to come.

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Send cards, not just now.

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Take Jason out for lunch, or a stroll with the dogs, or tinker on his cars with him.

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Play tennis with JE, or spend time in the garden with her.

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Take the girls out for coffee, a massage, or mani/pedi.

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Pictures: They may want to see pictures and videos right now, but they may not. Be careful with this and specifically ask them and let them guide this. People have very different reactions to this, and sometimes they want the pictures, but other times cannot look at them. Have no judgment and ask. This includes social media.